Wednesday, 8th March 2006
Safety in numbers
As the appointment for the second chemotherapy loomed I became more than a little intrigued about what would happen next. After all, metallic taste, some tiredness, nausea and dwindling locks aside, I remained relatively unscathed. Not only that but my general sense of well-being remained good. So it was with some surprise that I listened to the anxious voice of the oncology nurse on our answering machine at home. The nurse left a message to say that my white blood cell count, particularly neutrophils, taken at the pre-chemo blood test were so low that I may might not be able to have a second treatment at that time.
(See http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk/help/?page=118#neut for information on neutrophils.)
White blood cells are a vital part of the body's immune system and defend us all against infection by fighting off bugs and germs that might otherwise leave us feeling a bit under the weather. My count had dropped from a reading of 3.4 prior to the first round of chemotherapy to 0.3: it needed to be at least 1.5 to withstand the next round of chemotherapy. Apparently white blood cells can recover quite quickly so I agreed to have a second blood test the morning of the chemotherapy to see if mine had recovered and as luck would have it they had bounced from 0.3 to 1.7: just enough to get an entry pass for the second chemotherapy injections. I could barely contain my joy. However, I was pleased as I did not want to upset the timetable, and I remain keen to get these sessions over and done with. The nurse reminded me that I was a third of the way through the treatment after she finished administering the drugs; my next visit on 21st March would be the half-way mark. I left the chemotherapy suite feeling relieved but I caught sight of my reflection in a window at the hospital: I was in an altered state and the hair loss which I had been preparing for since January was now a harsh reality for me to confront. The weeks of mental preparation and cutting my hair short have undoubtedly helped, but I felt miserable. I consoled myself with the knowledge that, unlike the surgery in December, this latest change in my appearance was reversible. In the meantime, I was adopting the key characteristic that coots are renowned for (see previous entry).
Thankfully, I had a handful of head-scarves that did the trick. I also went for a second wig appointment. Maybe I had been too dismissive the first time. But it was no good, they all looked like... well, how can I put it... wigs! And another thing, they were all rather itchy plus what would happen to me when I was walking down the high street and confronted with a gust of wind? Knowing my luck the damn thing would blow off and before long there would be a couple of little dogs playing tug-of-war with it. It is true I have a vivid imagination so I thought scarves would be best. I talked this through with friends, and two of them, Suzanne and Debbie have helped enormously by adding to my head-scarf collection. I am very lucky to have such thoughtful friends with impeccably good taste and sense of timing. Russell is another good example. Out of the blue I received a collection of Tamla Motown's greatest hits through the post. I have been playing them in the car and when pottering about in the house. These thoughtful gestures have helped rally my spirits at a time when it has not been easy to look into a mirror.
At the week-end we all trundled off to our dear friend Myra's for lunch and it was lovely to see her and her lovely hair. She conjured up a delicious lunch and the children really enjoyed playing in the park close to her house.
Today I had a date with a girl-friend in town for some much needed retail therapy. I have added to the hat collection started off by my mother and my sister, and despite rainy weather and biting wind I made it onto the London bound platform at our local tube station. Huddled together on the platform as the waiting room was closed for refurbishment was a group of pensioners, and unlike others on the platforms they were all wearing hats. I pulled mine down a little over my head as the wind was getting stronger, and decided to stand near them. Two of the ladies nodded and smiled at me, acknowledging perhaps another person that was sensibly attired for the British Spring. The train took a little time to arrive and in the meantime the wind got stronger and stronger. Like Emperor Penguins we shuffled a little closer to one another. Safety in numbers. By the time the train arrived we were all chatting and I had discovered they were going to a lunch-time special viewing at an art gallery.
I met my friend for lunch and we had a great time chatting and then, of course, shopping. By the time this is all over it will be so much easier choosing accessories from the wardrobe. I came back home, looked at my new collection of scarves, and concluded that every cloud really does have a silver lining.
Thankfully, I had a handful of head-scarves that did the trick. I also went for a second wig appointment. Maybe I had been too dismissive the first time. But it was no good, they all looked like... well, how can I put it... wigs! And another thing, they were all rather itchy plus what would happen to me when I was walking down the high street and confronted with a gust of wind? Knowing my luck the damn thing would blow off and before long there would be a couple of little dogs playing tug-of-war with it. It is true I have a vivid imagination so I thought scarves would be best. I talked this through with friends, and two of them, Suzanne and Debbie have helped enormously by adding to my head-scarf collection. I am very lucky to have such thoughtful friends with impeccably good taste and sense of timing. Russell is another good example. Out of the blue I received a collection of Tamla Motown's greatest hits through the post. I have been playing them in the car and when pottering about in the house. These thoughtful gestures have helped rally my spirits at a time when it has not been easy to look into a mirror.
At the week-end we all trundled off to our dear friend Myra's for lunch and it was lovely to see her and her lovely hair. She conjured up a delicious lunch and the children really enjoyed playing in the park close to her house.
Today I had a date with a girl-friend in town for some much needed retail therapy. I have added to the hat collection started off by my mother and my sister, and despite rainy weather and biting wind I made it onto the London bound platform at our local tube station. Huddled together on the platform as the waiting room was closed for refurbishment was a group of pensioners, and unlike others on the platforms they were all wearing hats. I pulled mine down a little over my head as the wind was getting stronger, and decided to stand near them. Two of the ladies nodded and smiled at me, acknowledging perhaps another person that was sensibly attired for the British Spring. The train took a little time to arrive and in the meantime the wind got stronger and stronger. Like Emperor Penguins we shuffled a little closer to one another. Safety in numbers. By the time the train arrived we were all chatting and I had discovered they were going to a lunch-time special viewing at an art gallery.
I met my friend for lunch and we had a great time chatting and then, of course, shopping. By the time this is all over it will be so much easier choosing accessories from the wardrobe. I came back home, looked at my new collection of scarves, and concluded that every cloud really does have a silver lining.
posted by Anne-Marie @ 10:40 PM
3 Comments:
Well Anne-Marie - you may have lost your hair but not your sense of humour! Keep on in there and don't worry about the wig - I'm sure your other chosen headgear will be more practical and suitable, a much prettier option for you altogether.
Love Ros xxx
Dear Fantastic Big Sis
Thank you for the link on neutrophils. I have printed off 4 pages and read them on the train tomorrow.
You got me giggling again with the wig in a tug-of-war image. However, I fully understand your anxiety about it flying away.
There are wigs that are made of real human but they cost the earth and given that you are going to wear one for a relatively short time it's not worth the expense.
Your collection of headscarves has just bigger because at the weekend when I was working at the airport I used my staff pass to get a discount on two scarves that are big enough to go round your. You may think that they are rather decorative but I was thinking of the pirate look. You wear a blue and white stripey long-sleeved t-shirt, add one of these scarves and finish with a big hooped earring. How about that for a Spring/Summer look? If you are short on stripey t-shirts, fear not I have loads.
Rosemary xx
Looks nice! Awesome content. Good job guys.
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