Monday, March 20, 2006

Monday, 20th March 2006

Vanity thy name is woman


Having assembled a respectable collection of head scarves I decided it was time to show some of them off. I have been sporting a different look every time I take the children to school however not really recorded any for posterity until now. I called my sister Rosemary and told her about my idea of having a little photo shoot in Uxbridge and, being the good egg that she is, she pitched up last Thursday with her camera. Following a catch-up over a pub lunch we got down to business. We called in on our friend Spyroulla who runs Le Petit Beauty Salon. She sprinkled some fairy dust over me and also allowed us the use of a room so that I could change from one outfit into another. I regretted not bringing my other coat with me but still hopefully the pictures show how you can go bald, not use a wig and, well, sort of get away with it.


Hat courtesy of Rosemary. Scarf from Anne-Marie's own collection.



Hat from Accessorize courtesy of Debbie. Scarf from Anne-Marie's own collection. When Joshua saw this picture he said to me, “Nice boat.”

"I'm ready for my close-up Mr De Mille......"



The casual shopper look. Hat courtesy of Debbie. Scarf courtesy of Andee. Both from Accessorize.



The Boho look. Scarf courtesy of Suzanne.


I made the most of last week when the side-effects of the chemotherapy had all but worn off by packing as much in and seeing as many people as I could. Apart from Rosemary, I also met up with boxing-glove-Jaks and Izzy for lunch in the city. It was good to see them both again. Time flew by: we left the restaurant at half past three. On Saturday, I asked my parents if they would look after the boys so that I could see Debbie over a relaxed lunch at her place. I drove there as I was feeling absolutely fine. She's a very good cook and lunch was delicious. I left having been fed and with a chicken casserole to go into the freezer.

But it has not all been plain sailing. Simple everyday tasks, such as loading the washing machine and hanging up clothes to dry, have become harder for me. With two boys that are mud magnets and our own clothes plus towels and linen, the machine needs to go on two, maybe three, times a day. Previously, I thought nothing of putting on a load before I left for work in the morning then doing the other two loads when I got home from work in between supper and bed-time. A chore, of course, but it got done. However, over the last week, the washing has been piling up as feeding the children and putting them to bed was all I could manage. Bryan continues to work as a music teacher during the week then as an opera singer at the week-ends and looks tired enough when he gets in without me asking him to do a load of washing. For a few days I tried to muddle through but the laundry was not getting done so in the end I decided to enlist the help of my mother and mother-in-law. Thank goodness we have them both nearby, willing and able. Since I asked for their help laundry has been whisked away then returned cleaned, dry and...ironed. In fact everything is coming back ironed even underwear and pyjamas. It occured to me I could tell them both not to go to so much trouble. Then thought the better of it: if this is what they expect to do who am I to tell them otherwise? We are very lucky to have such a caring family around us at a time like this.

I have been able to continue with a little voluntary work at Joshua and Benjamin's schools. I am one of the parent trustees on the parents'/teachers' association that runs events to raise money to purchase much needed school equipment for both schools. This entails helping out with publicity (in my case) and helping to run one or more of the stalls at one of the events or to persuade other parents to spare time to do the same. Currently we are preparing for the Spring and Summer Fairs. Last week we had a non-uniform day at Joshua's school to remind children about the Spring Fair and encourage the parents to send in a bottle with their child for the adult tombola. So we had a bottle collecting activity at school on Friday morning when each class took it in turn to form a neat queue outside the store room and a handful of mums, including me, took in bottles taken into school by the children. We collected over 200 bottles for the adult tombola so this stall will get off to a great start. I also attended a meeting one evening to discuss planning for future events. As a number of the mums know about what has happened to me I was giving them a quick summary of how the chemo was going before all the other attendees arrived. Listening in attentively was our token dad at these meetings: Steve. A number of the mums started to make some helpful suggestions about how to adjust to my new circumstances; had I tried lavender under my pillow; did I know about the soothing effects of chamomile and so it went on. After a while I could tell Steve was building up to something and that he too was about to make a suggestion.

“Have you thought about having anything tattooed on your head?”
“Not really, no.”
“You could get a rabbit tattooed on your head.”
“A rabbit.”
“Yes. From far away it would look like a hare.”

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Wednesday, 8th March 2006

Safety in numbers


As the appointment for the second chemotherapy loomed I became more than a little intrigued about what would happen next. After all, metallic taste, some tiredness, nausea and dwindling locks aside, I remained relatively unscathed. Not only that but my general sense of well-being remained good. So it was with some surprise that I listened to the anxious voice of the oncology nurse on our answering machine at home. The nurse left a message to say that my white blood cell count, particularly neutrophils, taken at the pre-chemo blood test were so low that I may might not be able to have a second treatment at that time.
(See http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk/help/?page=118#neut for information on neutrophils.)
White blood cells are a vital part of the body's immune system and defend us all against infection by fighting off bugs and germs that might otherwise leave us feeling a bit under the weather. My count had dropped from a reading of 3.4 prior to the first round of chemotherapy to 0.3: it needed to be at least 1.5 to withstand the next round of chemotherapy. Apparently white blood cells can recover quite quickly so I agreed to have a second blood test the morning of the chemotherapy to see if mine had recovered and as luck would have it they had bounced from 0.3 to 1.7: just enough to get an entry pass for the second chemotherapy injections. I could barely contain my joy. However, I was pleased as I did not want to upset the timetable, and I remain keen to get these sessions over and done with. The nurse reminded me that I was a third of the way through the treatment after she finished administering the drugs; my next visit on 21st March would be the half-way mark. I left the chemotherapy suite feeling relieved but I caught sight of my reflection in a window at the hospital: I was in an altered state and the hair loss which I had been preparing for since January was now a harsh reality for me to confront. The weeks of mental preparation and cutting my hair short have undoubtedly helped, but I felt miserable. I consoled myself with the knowledge that, unlike the surgery in December, this latest change in my appearance was reversible. In the meantime, I was adopting the key characteristic that coots are renowned for (see previous entry).

Thankfully, I had a handful of head-scarves that did the trick. I also went for a second wig appointment. Maybe I had been too dismissive the first time. But it was no good, they all looked like... well, how can I put it... wigs! And another thing, they were all rather itchy plus what would happen to me when I was walking down the high street and confronted with a gust of wind? Knowing my luck the damn thing would blow off and before long there would be a couple of little dogs playing tug-of-war with it. It is true I have a vivid imagination so I thought scarves would be best. I talked this through with friends, and two of them, Suzanne and Debbie have helped enormously by adding to my head-scarf collection. I am very lucky to have such thoughtful friends with impeccably good taste and sense of timing. Russell is another good example. Out of the blue I received a collection of Tamla Motown's greatest hits through the post. I have been playing them in the car and when pottering about in the house. These thoughtful gestures have helped rally my spirits at a time when it has not been easy to look into a mirror.

At the week-end we all trundled off to our dear friend Myra's for lunch and it was lovely to see her and her lovely hair. She conjured up a delicious lunch and the children really enjoyed playing in the park close to her house.

Today I had a date with a girl-friend in town for some much needed retail therapy. I have added to the hat collection started off by my mother and my sister, and despite rainy weather and biting wind I made it onto the London bound platform at our local tube station. Huddled together on the platform as the waiting room was closed for refurbishment was a group of pensioners, and unlike others on the platforms they were all wearing hats. I pulled mine down a little over my head as the wind was getting stronger, and decided to stand near them. Two of the ladies nodded and smiled at me, acknowledging perhaps another person that was sensibly attired for the British Spring. The train took a little time to arrive and in the meantime the wind got stronger and stronger. Like Emperor Penguins we shuffled a little closer to one another. Safety in numbers. By the time the train arrived we were all chatting and I had discovered they were going to a lunch-time special viewing at an art gallery.

I met my friend for lunch and we had a great time chatting and then, of course, shopping. By the time this is all over it will be so much easier choosing accessories from the wardrobe. I came back home, looked at my new collection of scarves, and concluded that every cloud really does have a silver lining.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Monday, 6th March 2006

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